Ilduara Abona Gudelo was born in the city of Medellin in the district of Antioquia, Colombia, she joined the monastery of "The Mother of God", she did theological studies in the Pontiff University of Bogota, she also took a high school degree in special pedagogy. She left monastery after she had a personal meeting with the Lord Jesus Christ, and now she will tell her storie herself:
I made this choise for a very big interest that I had inside me to know the Truth, I have been saturated with religious things, due to a upbringing in a catholic family, I spent all my childhood in the liturgy of the mass, in worship of images and to say the rosary. And when I joined the monastery I went to the general mother superior of the Servants of the Mother of God, and I told her: "I have come here because I want to know the truth". She showed me what it meant to her giving me ADVENTS (NOVENAS?), medals and a crucifix and also a Bible, but she told me: "Do not read the Bible alone it is habit to read it in groups. It was in that way that it began a stage of postulate which is a training to arrive to the novitiate.
To the age of 16, I finished this stage and also my Secondary Education Studies, I pronounced the temporary votes of poverty, chastity and obedience. There was a solemn ceremony where I got married with Chirst which the CARDENAL indicated me that with this act I have won the 100% per one when becoming the wife of Christ, all this for me was just a fantasy; how could we get married with someone that we haven't known?.
During this time I was not allowed to have any contact with my family due it is necessary to break all the affective links during this time. It is a time called "Canon year".
I was been prepared for the pre-school education in the Pedagogical University, so I was enstrusted with a group of children most of them orphans. I began to work hard to remove from these children their emotional problems, I realized that it was missing something very important, and it was necessary to develope christian characters in these children.
I did all my best as a nun, I used up all the psicopedagogic methods to achieve this task, appealed to all my religiousness and even join into a full week of spiritual retreat. After the third day that I was in this retreat of spiritual excersises I realized that I was asking in vain, I was looking for someone that could not open the door for me, and I was calling in vain, I paied a promiss and lighted candles but even with all this, the emptyness continued. I have been 8 days of spiritual retreat asking my self: "Where is my God?".
I looked for my catholic bible trying to find the answer to my question, and I found Psalms 115, and it worried me a question that is written in this Psalm it says: "Where is now your God?". It was in that moment that I was in need of Him. When I began to read this Psalm 115, I realized that it was the same question that I was making my self during all this novitiate period. I saw infront of me where I had a crucifix, and I was on my knees before it, I read the Psalm and it said: " Their idols are silver and gold". The crucifix that was before me was cut in wood. It was truth what the Bible said: it had eyes and could not see me, it had ears and yet hear me not, it had mouth and yet did not talk with his through, it could not defeand me, it was a prefabricated Christ, it did not work, and now I was in need of a real Christ, that one that raised up from the death in the third day, that living Jesus Christ.
After this experienced finished I went to look for the mother superior, I sat together with her and made her some questions concerning my salvation, she answered me that for faith I shall beleive in the Christ of the chapel, I analyzed the votes of poverty, chastity and obedience as a salvation guidelines, and I wondered if they had any effectiveness to save me.
When I made those questions to the General superior of the Mother of God servants, she decided that it was time for me to joing the theological University for begin with theological studies, she answered: the questions that you have will be answered there and then you will know the truth.
I began my studies in the Averiana University, I haven't been there for long time when the Holy Mother Catholic Church, that one that I have been told was the only one that could save it was established when the emperors assumed the position of the "the Pope".It was then Damaso I, took this position and then the Catholic church was consituted as the only source of salvation, I began to see how each successor of Peter just made up something new.In this way in the year of 1073, Gregorio VII imposed the celibacy or chastity vote. The fruits that I could see and that have been obtained through this system because of this invention of the chastity vote, the only thing that has been brought is dishonour. The Word of God tell us in 1 Timothy 4:1-3: "Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.".
I want to tell that I have been eyewitness of this, when I was participant of the conference celebrated in Puebla , that conference had a purpouse and the puropuse was to make a decision about the celibacy.The Bible is very right when it call all this practices doctrines of devils, because instead of promote the purity of the life it has produce the most deep moral corruption through times. I could see this my self, there in that conference in Puebla, how all this invention of the celibacy had brought just dishonour.
Midwhile I was there taking my studies, we come to a very important subject and it was the Reform of the Church, we studied the life of some of the remormers and spesialy the life of Martin Luter, we studied him as "the great heretic of the history". I dedicated my self to study his 95 thesis, and I realized that they have been taking out from the Holy Scriptures, I was very worried about the life of this man, because I considered that his thesis were not heretics but a reality. I arrive to the class confident in that they were going to beleive what I was going to say about our religion which had a veil of falseness.
The significance that I could see, they could not see. I decided then to draw back the veil for my own. This happened when I began to develop my thesis, it was a necessary requirement to get the diploma in theology. I made a parallel between what is the christianity and the tradition: what does the christianity offer? and what does the traditions offer?. While making this parallel I found in the Bible that the christianity offers the essence of a living real Christ, that lead me to a goal of salvation and offers me also a crown of eternal life on the other hand what does the roman tradition could offer me?, well just every day the same thing, every day taking part of the same sacrifices, every 15 days going to a confessional booth. The Bibles says in Hebrews 10:11 "And every priest standeth daily ministering and offering oftentimes the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins: But this man, after he had offered one sacrifice for sins for ever, sat down on the right hand of God ".
And there is no more need of sacrifices, is enough to confess that Jesus is the Lord. This Thesis was not accepted, they just could not accept it.
Then I corroborated that the Holy Mother Catholic Church could not save me and that my relgion had just a veil of falseness.
For this conclusion of my thesis I was subdued to a punishment. The theology dean handed me over the general superior, I was considered an heretic. She called me and we began to talk about this, and she considered that I had to receive this punishment, and she put in my hands a whip. It was necessary that I did this for my self for the forgivness of my sins, I began giving my self the first 4 lashes, the whip was so strong that broke my skin, it was made of several endings in order that even if I used it carefully it hurted me a lot, I still have the scares in my body. One of my classmates had to finish giving me the punishment because it was imposible for me to continue doing it my self, when the punishment was finished, it was expressed in this way:"It is done". I meditated a lot in these words, I had listened them before in the "Sermon of the 7 words" that we used to listen all the holy fridays there in the convent. They sounded like the last words of Jesus in the Calvary cross. In one of the 7 words Jesus Christ say:"everything is consummated", and later on "Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit". I understood that it was Christ the only one Redeemer that with only one offer made perfect for ever to the sanctified.
After been 15 days in the room for charged priests, where all the penances were done, I received the punishments every day, I decided to talk with the mother superior, and when I talked to her I promissed her to fulfil all the holy rules, obey in everything and under this promiss she took me out of there. She gave me a charge and sent me to another town, the town of Bujaca, in that town there is the most famous sanctuary called: "The sanctuary of the health".
When we arrive to work to this place, we were going to open a place for orphans babies, and we were also supouse to control the entrance to town forbidding all entrance to evengelical christians.There was no freedom of worship in this place, there were not allowed person that said "Hallelujah", it was not allowed anyone that was not one of ours or just the catholics. People from all parts of the country come on the weekends to receive a miracle from the "Virgin of the Health". I was very active to pray to this virgin through all the prayers and for the souls in the purgatory. The purgatory is a dogma of faith, and it was imposed in the year of 1439. And even if I was here in this place praying for the souls in the purgatory the Bible says: "Justified for the faith in Jesus Christ we have peace with God".
We spent our time persecuting all those that came with the intention of spread the salvation message through Jesus Christ, we considered them protestants. And they were persecuted with the protection and demand of the catholic church.
After some time I noted that something very special was going on. There was a known woman in the town for more than 27 years, she was a prostitute, suddenly she arrived to the door of the convent saying that Jesus Christ had saved her, that woman had two small children, I had taken them away from her through an insitution in Colombia called : "Family welfare", because the life style she had, she arrived then to the convent telling us that Jesus Christ had saved her, that He had choosen her, that she had accepted Him as her saviour and that Christ had transformed her life.
Some days later Iwas witness of another incident, there was a leper woman, we also had taken from her her daughter of 4 years old, so the girl wouldn't be infected. She also came to the door of the convent saying: "I want to see my girl, I want to take my girl with me". When I showed her the girl so she could watch her only I noted that the woman had been healed of her leprosy, I asked her:"Who did this in your life? what happened to you?", then the woman answered: "I gave my heart to Christ, and He healed me, He took away the leprosy that was in my body and He also pulled away the leprosy that I had in my soul, He saved me".
I saw another case that worried me a lot, there was a woman that went to mass every day, in the convent it was celebrated a mass at 7 o'clock in the morning, and this old woman went to mass every single day, suddenly she stopped to attend, I realized that she hadn't attend for one week so I decided to visit her and went to her house, when I asked her why she was not with us during that time she answered me: "I have known the bloody sacrifice where Jesus Christ shed His blood for me, and now I do not need to celebrate more useless sacrifices and I will not take part of that mass sacrifice with you any more". Why this woman dared to talk to me in that way!?, what was she talking about??, she has mentioned a bloody sacrifice, I knew that the mass was a unbloody sacrifice, the word unbloody means: Without bloodshed. The Bible says that without bloodshed there is no forgiveness of sins, so that means that this woman had stopped to be religious to become a daugther of God, she had understood the sacrifice of Jesus Christ in the Calvary cross for the forgivness of the sins of the whole mankind, and she accepted this sacrifice. At that moment I could not understand what that woman told me.
When I saw the change in the lives of this persons I could understand that these were signals, the Bible tells us: "These signals shall follow those that believe...".
We decided to have a meeting and summon all the nuns and priest in the town, this meeting took place and we come to the conclusion that there had come evangelical christians to this town, that among us had enter evangelical christians, and I understood that it wasn't just any evangelical christan, because I had seen a woman that for 27years had been a prostitute and suddenly she comes and tells me that Jesus Christ changed her, and then other woman telling me that she was not going to come back to mass because it was a pointless sacrifice, those were signals. So we recieved the orders from the mother superior for begin to look for those alleged christians that had strained to Bojaca. We looked for them for 3 days, after 3 days we found a man that had a Bible under the arm, that man was saying : "Hallelujah!". To the first meeting with him I asked him: "Why have you come here?, who sent you to this place?, we do not accept any evangelicals in this town, you are an halellelujah".
That man answered:"I am a son of God, I am chosen generation, a royal priesthood". I asked Him :"But who has sent you to this place?". He answered: "Jesus Christ has sent me, what about you?, who has sent you??".
I made him clear that we did not allowed any "hallelujahs" in that town, that in that town the only one that gave orders was the virgin of the health, and the only one that made miracles was the virgin of the health.
He took no notice of that I said to him, and the same afternoon he began to preach in the main square of the town. We incited the catholic people to go and attack this man, he was stoned that same afternoon, I got close to him to tell him to leave the town and go out from that place otherwise they could kill him. The man told me: "Jesus Christ has sent me and I will do the will of the One that has sent me". I saw something very important concerning this missionary, and it was his way to preach the Gospel, how he arrive to the persons hearts, he talked with authority and confidence, he told the people about the power of God and then let the people begint to freely look for the power of God in their lives, I didn't see him to praise any moment the virgin Mary, he didn't talk about the immaculate conception, he had no the seven sacraments, he went in the Name of Jesus, that was the answered that he always gave us every time we asked him. We made many attempts to take him out of town. After he was stoned, we decided to burn his house, with a group of young men and other people from the town, we came to the place where he had his humble little house, and we set fire to his house, the purpouse was that once that he had no place ot live in he would have to leave the town in failure. I was really astonished when I realized that this man did not accept the failure. One of my partners told him: "accept your failure! you have no place to live!. This man answered her :"The children of God don't accept any failure, because in Christ we are more than conquerors". "Just leave the town! you don't have any place to live", I told him, and that man answered: "With house or without it, I will serve my Lord".
After so many attempts and trying to find a way to defeat him and make him go out of the town, he did not leave the town, he did not accept the failure. The next day we tried to find a way like trying to talk to him. The man had already begun to look for some material to rebuild his hut, it was a hut made with straw, so he looked for more material. The neighbors went at once to the convent to tell us that the evangelical was trying once more to rebuild his house, then I went to look for the police, we arrive to his place and the policemen took him to jail, now he was convicted, and so we would have the confidence that he wouldn't preach any more.
15 days later we come to the same jail where that man had been confined, we were a group of nuns with the priest, we used to go to that jail every 15 days to celebrate the mass inside the jail for the convicted, and we found the evangelical preaching inside the jail, he was in the middle of the group and all the convicted were in one single patio, and this evangelical told them: "The only one choice for salvation is Jesus Christ". Even inside the jail he was recommending Christ, that man was not just one more religious man, he was a real apostle.
The time midwhile he was convited, a thought came to my mind once and again every night: "My word says: Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, you say you love me and that you love others but, what about the missionary that is in the jail?". It was like if someone was talking to my life and against that truth my inner person was burning, I was not able to fight it.
As a consequence of that visit a lot of conflicts began inside of me that took away my inner peace, I could not resist it, I went to the jail, I talked to the capitan in the jail and told him to leave alone that man and set him free, he was innocent, he went out of jail at once.
We made another try, I came to this man and told him: "Join us!, we are fighting for the same goal, we both are religious, we are preaching the same!". This man stood up with great firmness and dignity of a son of God and said :" We are not preaching the same!, we do not have the same goal, you take sacraments, you are carrying religion, and I am bringing a message: the message of the Salvation, you are leading the people to the purgatory, and I take them to the Calvary cross, so they can receive to that One that with one single offer made perfect and for ever to the sanctified, Christ Jesus!".
He did not take the offer that I made to him, we offered him a job as a sacristan if he joined us. He did not accepted the job as a sacristan, he said: "The children of God do not sell themselves, and a smiliar offer like the one you are making to me today, once satan made it to Jesus of Nasareth, I asked him :"What offer are you talking about? how you dare to tell me this?". And that man told me : "Don't you remember that moment when satan trying to tempt Jesus told Him: All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me".
I understood that it was a satanic offer, and that man told me: "The same offer that you make me today, it was made by satan to Jesus of Nasareth, you are asking me to join your religion, to accept your religion, that we are the same, and the Bible say: if you shall convert , you shall convert to God, and a long a go I have converted my self to the Christ of the glory, I do not need to join your religion".
After that we were going to travel to Ecuador, then making use of ruses we invited this man to travel with us, it was another try to make him join us, I wanted him to know about our missioinary works, I wanted him to know the only church that has power in the whole world, I wanted him to see the only church that has golden chalices. "I want you to come with me so you can know the church of power" I told him. "Come with us to the missionary field". It seemed strange but this man accepted, so we went there, we were a group of 20 nuns sent there by the Servants of the Mother of God, 10 priest sent by the Jesuits, and one evengelica christan that said "Jesus Christ has sent me". That man was aware of doing the will of God.
We began our missionary work based on the ministring of the sacraments, the baptism, penances, communion, extreme unction, order and marriage. More than 700 people accepted our doctrine, and now it was necessary to come to the purpouse for which we come to that place, we come to that place with the purpouse to establish a catholic church, once that the temple was build, we began with the formalities to acquire the "Ara Stone" or "Corner stone", this is the most important element to celebreat this mass, we can not celebrate a mass if you are not sure that the corner stone is encrusted in the altar, the "ara stone" or "corner stone" is just a relic, a relic that comes direct from Rome,a relic that belonged to the saint that was canonized in Rome. We wanted that parish had the name of :"Parish of San Martin de Porres", so the temple had to have a relic of that San Martin de Porres, we asked for this relic, midwhile this relic came on its way, I was very worried for the importance that this corner stone has to celebrate a mass to celebrate the moment of the TRANSUSTANCIACION that means to turn the bread in the body of Jesus and the wine in His blood. I began to look in my catholic bible a base or support that talked about the "corner stone". For my suprise I found nothing in the latinamerican version, nothing about the corner stone, arrive the moment when I come to the place in the Bible when Jesus made His first mention to a stone saying : "and over this rock I will edify my church". I looked then who was this rock? and I found in my bible :"Because I will publish the name of the LORD: ascribe ye greatness unto our God. He is the Rock, his work is perfect..".
I decided to meet with my mates I tried to tell them that the "Ara stone" doesn't exist, that the church of the Lord is founded over the Rock, that we can not put another basis out of the one that is already set and His name is Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone. When I said this to my mates they were offended and began to claim !Ave Maria!, they anointed me and threw holy water on me, but the evangelical, that missionary that had come with us was also in that meeting, he came out from the middle of the group saying: "it is not you the ones that will open the work of the Lord in this place, you don't have any authority of God".
I told him: "What authority are you talking about?, you are just have come with us so you can see what is the church of power, you do not know our doctrine, you don't have either any preparation or authority". He answered: "I have the authority of the believer, I have the key to bind and loose in the Name of Jesus!", I asked him which ones were the keys that he had, the Bible said that this keys were given to Peter, and he answered through the Bible in the book of Acts 2:37-38 "Now when they heard this, they were pricked in their heart, and said unto Peter and to the rest of the apostles, Men and brethren, what shall we do? Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost".
Then the keys of the Kingdom of God are the repentance and the faith in Jesus Christ for the forgivness of the sins and the baptism is the public testimony, the believer goes with that faith that Jesus Christ has forgiven his sins.
That missionary had told us: "It is me the one that will open a work for the Lord". He began to preach and to carry a message about the repentance in Jesus Christ, and in few days more than 40 persons had turned their lives to Jesus Christ, they had been born again. He opened a little evangelical mission and split up from us.
We found a woman that wanted a miracle from Mary, that woman got close to me once when I was in the street, and she told me she wanted a miracle from Mary, I took the woman to the convent to help her there, and when I went to the convent the mother superior told me: "This woman has a very bad reputation we can not receive her in our convent. Then she told me:"this is the right woman for us, we have to take her to the place where this evangelical christian is opening his little mission, if we take this woman there, then this man will be calumniated and then he will have to leave the town in failure".
So we took the woman to him, the goal was to discredit this man. There was also a drunkar, this man was advised to go there and destroy the services in that evangelical church. A woman that was in rags and slept outside the convent, she took all the garbage that she found and we always found her outside the convent sleeping, one day we got tired of her, we took her to the evangelic. So all the waste that we found in the town we took to this man. He had told us that he had authority from God, I have the keys of authority of the beleiver. And we wanted to know if he had it or if it was just palaver, so we took this woman in rags to him. I also had a experience and worked with mentally handicapped children and among those children was one with Down syndrom, that children was 7 years old, I had tried in many ways and all the means with occupational therapy to heal this child so he could change, we could smile as the rest of the children but everything was useless. One day I took this child, and I began to think and meditate in the words of the evangelist when he told me:"I am a son of God, I am chosen generation, a royal priesthood".
So I took the child in my arms and took him to the evangelist there where he was and told him: "You told me once that you had authority from God, you told me that you have power from God, you told me that you had the keys of authority of the believer, and if you have it, I want to see it, I want to see a special work in this child".
The man told me: "You have already brought me 4 persons". First we took to him the prostitute to calumniate him and make him go out in failure, after that woman in rags, after an alcoholic and now a down syndrom child, we wanted to see the power of God through this 4 persons. I was sure that I challenged the evangelic christian and I was making fun of him, we left him with those persons, and we continued with our mission. Once we finished our work, the servatns of the Mother of God and the priest that have been with us to the missionary field then we returned to Colombia.
But we returned without the envangelic christian, we were mocking him, we made fun that at last we had got rid of him and we had left him lost in that country.
When I came back to Colombia to give the report of what the mission has been, the mother superior asked me what happened with the evangelic christian? what happened to him?. I answered : "Mother that foolish won't come back to Colombia anymore, we left him lost in Ecuador, and he won't disturb us again, or preach any more in the Sanctuary of the Virgin of the Health".
Mother superior told me: "It seems that that evangelic is not foolish at all, because he has come back to Colombia even before you did, he came back 15 days a go here to Colombia, and he is again preaching there in the Sanctuary of the Virgin of the Health, but don't worry, we are going to show to this people and especially this evangelic that we really care for the welfare of the people, we are going to send you again back to Ecuador, you will go there to spend your time helping those people, you will make a occupational therapy with them".
So I came back alone to the Ecuador again, I had with me some working material, to this occupational therapy. But I was worried about what would happend with the persons that we had given to the evangelic before, these 4 persons, so I decided to go to this little church that the evangelic had opened in this place and I came to the door, I corroborated that the evangelic christian was not there any more, but I felt that Jesus Christ was in that place, I could see him in all those faces, people full of joy, people that praised and glorified the name of Jesus, people that could say "!Hallelujah!!! Christ lives!" with joy and peace and they said it from their hearts. I stood in the door of the church and waited there til the end of the service, and I saw that they called a woman to the altar, I recognized that was the woman we took first to this evangelic christian, she came there to finish the service and say the last pray. When she saw me she came running to me, she hugged me and told me: "I want you to feel what I feel in my life".
What this woman could feel?, she told me : "I have peace, I feel joy, the freedom from Christ". How did you managed? I asked her: She said : "The Truth is Jesus Christ, he set me free!".
In the same way there it was the woman in rags, she was not in rags any more and she said : "The burden that I dragged, I don't have it any more, Jesus Christ took them in the Calvary cross, all the burdens and pains, He took with himself my burdens, He has transformed me".
The alcoholic was also in that church,that man that needed to drink rum every single day to have balance was now there, he was infront of me and was talking to me I told him :"I have come back because I will give you a therapy". The man answered me :"There is no need of a therapy anymore, Jesus Christ did it in one second, I did not need any treatment, I am not shaking anymore, now I don't need any rum, now I have the balance of Jesus Christ".
"And what happened with the child with Down syndrom?" I asked. A 7 years old boy that was just a vegetable, I took that boy there and told to that missionary, I want to see the power of God, I want to know if you really have the authority from God, I want to see the key of the believer that you told me you have, I want to see it manifested in this child. So I asked for this boy, and they took me where this boy was, the boy was playing, that boy was smiling, that boy had been healed by the power of God, and also the boy recognized me, when I asked the boy : "What has happened to you??". The boy answered me :"To me also Daddy God has healed me the missionary that was in this place asked me if I believed that Jesus Christ would heal me". And I told to this boy: "and did you believe such a tail?? that is just a storie! you don't have to believe that!". The boy answered me :"I believed it, and Daddy God fulfilled His Word in me, He fulfilled His promisse to me".
I was wondering why the four of them were healed, now I understood, I hadn't challenge a evangelic christian when I told this man if the Christ of the halellujahs can save, I had challenged a living God, now I could see the living God inside those four persons. I could not make any therapy, there wasn't any need of that. Jesus Christ in one single second had come inside their hearts, which opened to Him and let Jesus Christ get inside with power to change and transform their lives, one single second of their lives and Jesus Christ saved them!.
I came back to Colombia I took a report to the mother superior, it wasn't the report that the mother superior espected, she was especting a report saying what was the success of the therapy that I had apply in those people, and before the group of nuns that were waitting for my answer I told them: "I have seen the church of the Lord, the evangelicals have right, Jesus Christ lives and is REAL".
To say this it cost me another punishment, I was there again in the room for charged priests, and one day I took part of a mass, it was a worring time when we read the
responsory Psalm, the question was :"Lord who will come inside Your sanctuary?", the responsory Psalm is a part of the Bible, so when we come to this part of the mass in which I was taking part, I want to add that when I stood in the door of the temple to take part of that service the mother superior told me: "Take part of this mass with all your heart, put a new intention today". So I decided to live that mass from my heart and know all its aspects step by step.
I stept into the first bench, and when we arrive to this question I got very worried:"Lord who will come inside Your sanctuary?", and in the paper of the mass was written :"He that has clean hands and pure heart". It was like if someone was asking me : "Who will come inside the Kingdom of Heaven?". I looked to my hands, and they were dirty, they were full of idolatry, I debated, I looked inside my heart and it was the same, there were roots of bitterness. They were going to analize this question: "Lord who will come inside Your sanctuary?". I continued asking my self, midwhile the mass continued, the priest put up the chalice with the wine and the host and said :"this is the lamb of God that take away the sins of mankind", and he invited the faithfull to take part of the comunion sacrament saying:" This is my body and my blood, it has power, it clean you from all iniquity".
In this moment I went to the altar with confidence, the priest had said: "This is the blood of Jesus and it will clean you from all sin, it can clean you from all iniquity". There was then the solution for me and the answer for my hands to be clean and my heart to be purified in that moment, but when I was there in the line with my mates that also were going to take part with this, waiting my turn to take the host and the wine, I think this was the first real pray that I had in my life because I began to ask Jesus: "Oh Jesus, talk to my heart, that I can understand this moment, tell me if this moment, the moment of the TRANSUBSTANCIACION si real, if it is true that in that glass is your blood in if is true that it can clean my from all iniquities". I wanted to know if He really was present there in that moment through the host and the wine, I asked Him to reveal Himself to my life, I asked Him if He really could clean my hands and my heart through all this.
Midwhile I was crying out to God for this, the priest extended his hand with the host to me and said :"The body and the blood of Jesus". He extended his hand, and that host fell into the floor, he began to shake, the wine that he had in the glass was spilt, midwhile he bent to the floor and with his tongue licked from the floor what for him was the blood of Jesus, and he could not waste any single drop, midwhile one of my mates bent to the floor and with her hands tried to pick up the host that fell. And it was in that moment when I heard the audible voice of Jesus. I had asked Jesus to talk to me, I had asked Jesus to reveal Himself to my life, and He was going to do it!, I asked Him with faith!, I needed Him to take away from my life all the confusion in that moment, then I heard the clear voice, and I can tell that it was the voice of Jesus, because before that voice the priest shook, the host fell down, the wine spilt!, and I was also shaking!, so I heard the audible voice of Jesus telling me :"Iduara this is not my blod!, my blood was shed once and for all for all the sins, scape for your life!". The impact of that voice in me was so big, that I ran out of the temple . Even if they tried to stop me in the door of the temple, nobody could do it, and that same day I also ran out of the convent, yes, that was the day I left the convent, I took away from the habit that I had in my head, I was beggining a new stage in my life.
When I was out of the convent I had a very negative experience, I was trained in many areas of the life for many things but I didn't know how to defend my self, while being in cloister I had been all the time inside a vicious cycle. And when I came out to the streets I realized that everything was totaly different, the sin there in the streets was not cover like it happened inside the convent, it was very difficult for me after 12 years of being a nun, but it was necessary to do it. I went to my parents house, and I had a very difficult experience there too, after a short time I had to leave the home, my family did not accept the decision that I had made to leave the convent, they said that I had betrayed a family where there have been more than 22 religous persons, I want to say that in my family there are more than 22 religious people among nuns and priest, none of them had take this decision before, none of them had complain about their lives, none of them had asked themselves if they were in the right path or not, all of them have been satisfied until this time.
I talked with my father and I decided to go out from there again, and I continued my quest, and I realized that it was very difficult to live without the comfrot of the convent, and I hadn't come either to a personal encounter with Jesus Christ. I knew where to find the Truth, but terrorized me the fact that I had to go to a evangelical church. I have been taught that the evangelic christians were heretics and therefor I was scared to come to an evangelical church, I decided to look for a job, and one week after I had been working, arrived to this place one of my nun mates, it was a nun together with a detective of the F2, the nun came to me and told me :"You have betrayed our religion, you have made fun of the dogmas of the Holy Mother Church, and you will have to make a choice right now, you have also studied in the congregation of the Servants of the Mother of God, so you have to decide today if you will return with us, or if you will give us back all the money that we have spent in your studies", then the detective that was following her said :"Or you go to jail and be arrested".
In that moment we went on the way to the headquarters, we arrived to a police station and when we came inside then asked me for the last time :"Are you going back to the covent? or do you have money to pay the expenses?, or are you going to jail?". I answered to the captain :"I prefer to go to jail" .
It was not easy for me as a woman to take that kind of desicion, but I knew that in the jail at least I would have freedom of thoughts. But in Rome I was not my self, I was submited to the three votes: poberty, chastity and obedience, and to the orders of a mother superior.
They took me before the captain, he told me that I was lost, because I was found guilty of fraud for 7 years. It was considered that when I studied with them, and I did not gave my services to them, then I was swindling the Servants of the Mother of God. I asked the captain if he knew the concordate in our country, the concordate in Colombia is a peace agreement between the catholic church and the State, and it clearly says that it can not be a mix between civilian laws and ecclesiastical laws, in my case as a nun I was inside the eccelsiastical law, it seemed that this man civilian authority did not know this agreement even when Colombia is the only one country in the whole latinamerica that still keeps this concordate. So it was a suprise for him that I talked to him in that way telling him: "I am not lost, I think that the only one that is lost here is you, you are violating the law in our country, how come you as a civilian law will judge me that I am under the ecclesiastical law?, he could not judge me, he could not put me in jail, I am part of the clergy, and it must be apply to me the eccelsiastical law. The captain took in his hands the law of the country and also the concordate, he undesrtood that he had been blackmailed, and then he put me in the hands of the bishop.
I was taken to the city of Pacatativa where the judgement was going to take place, there it was the bishop of the diocese, when the judgement began, the bishop of the city Pacatativa asked me: "Why have you betrayed us? why have you lie to us?". I told them: "I want to know who betrayed who?, I came to the convent of the Servants of the Mother of God when I was still a child, I came with a very important question, that for all of you may be childish, all of you have assured me that in the 3 votes of poverty, chastity and obedience was the salvation, you told me that was the truth, and I have analyzed along my religious life these votes of poverty, chastity and obedience. The vote of poverty means get rid of evyerhing do not have money in our hands and don't handle money, the vote of obedience is to be obedient in everything what the mother superior says, and the chastity vote is to keep the celibate, it can not be made a chastity vote without the gift of abstinence. I was about to be found guilty in that judgement, but my defender lawyer extracted from the Colombian Consitution when it says that no person under age can take a desicion for all the life. So the only guilty ones here are you, the catholic church who has allowed that a 16 years old girl pronouce in public this votes of poverty, chastity and obedience until the death. This kind of desicion can not be taken on accoutn before the laws or the Constitution, it is totaly and completely null.
The judgement was finished, and I won the judgement.
Through the centuries the church of Rome has taught through the Holy inquisition and through the clergy in general that the tortures, murders and even the seclusion in mental institutions are correct and reasonable methods to get rid of heretics, all these are not methods that they used in the past, because now in the middle of the XX century, the roman clergy has used often these practices of the inquisition to fight the evangelic christians or heretics in the whole latin america.
Even if I won that judgement, they gave me no chance to talk with any one that day, they took me directly to a clinic a mental insitution in the city of Bogota, I came to this place not because I was sick in my mind, it was simply a way that they used against me to kept me far from them.
When I came to this place I realized what was the purpouse of what had happened, specially with one of my mates, that woman once had an argument with the mother superior about the INFALIBILIDAD, since that moment she disappear from the convent and I did not see her for 10 years, and in the moment that I was taken to this mental institution it was when I coud see Fanny again, with her mind totaly lost!, she had arrived healthy to this clinic but in those 10 years receiving drugs and treatments, and even electroshocks. That intelligent women had been turned to a vegetable just to apply another method also considered as correct and reasonable to destroy heretics.
There was another group of priest and nuns, and I knew that this groups was aside, because for each of us was asigned a nun and a jesuit priest who were also doctors.
I could see also when priest almost to old in age, that they still could count how many years they had been there. One of them told me, I was brought here because I denied the immaculate conception of the virgin Mary, each of them had been brought there for something that they had done or said that was considered as a heresy, now I was part of that group too.
I spent three days in a room totaly isolated and I they put me an injection , when I woke up I realized that I had been affected for the treatment I was receiving, I had no way to defend my self, no matter how much I begged to the nun that came with the treatment, she always came and put that injection, there was an interview every afternoon with the psychologist, he was the one that had to give the diagnosis, that had to be kept for 2 months in that mental institution, I applied for an interview with a psychoanalyst so I was submitted to a psychoanalysis, he rejected after to give a diagnosis, because the other psycholigist had already gave one. Then I just demanded to be examined. And he could see that the treatment I was given was affecting my mind, and that was not necessary to receive it, and that it wasn't necessary either to receive any electric shock therapy, so he told them to stop at once with that treatment based on drugs for "calm the nerves". And he gave the order to comunicate with my father to know some more aspects of my emotional life. My father traveled to the capital and when he arrived the psychoanalyst talked with him, they made a last test that showed that I was normal and that I was ok, so I corroborated that it was another of their big inventions to destroy all those that were considered anathemas or heretics.
I went out of the mental institution, but due that I could not live together with my family, I decided to stay in the capital, in Bogota, I was confident that the persecution was already finished, I tried to look for my diploms and papers that proved my academic traning so I could get a good job, but when I came to the University I saw that it was given an order from Rome where it said that they should not give any diploms or papers to me. Some days laters I receive a letter of excommunication which at the end of the letter had written these words: "Because you have betrayed us, you are now anathema, this means we throw you in the hands of Satan".
I was wondering my self, how can the representative of Jesus Christ on the earth so called "infallible" could excommunicate someone and throw he in the hand of satan!. I didn't want to sign any paper of excommunication until I was explained with base in the Bible what was the authority of the Pope to do this, the bishop gave me just some concept without any grounds or basis such as : "The Pope is the successor of Peter, and he has power to bind and to loose, he is infallible, he is the Pope", but the Bibles says in Hebrews 4: Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God. The only great high priest that the Bibles tells us about is Jesus Christ!,and for such an high priest became us, who is holy, harmless, undefiled, separate from sinners, and made higher than the heavens.
I also visited some friends who were priest and nuns that were retired and also excommunicated, I wanted to know how all this has affected their lives and they also showed me that they had also been given into to the hands of satan, one of those person was my mate for 18 years, I asked her to guide me about this excommunication, she has been retired from a long a go but, she was not a christian, she told me: "Don't be a fool, the truth doesn't exist, God doesn't exist, I looked for Him 18 years in the convent, I lied and they have lied to me as well, don't continue looking for God, is not worth it".
I began to develope a desperation and realized that it was true, it was not worth it to continue fighting for this, I wanted to put and end to all this. Midwhile I was walking on one of the streets in Bogota ,I was looking for a final solution for all this, suddenly I heard a song, and took my attention the letter of that song that said:"Lovely hands, hands of Jesus, hands that carried the heavy cross". I wanted to know where they were singing this song, where this was taking place, I began to get close and I could see that it was an evangelical church, I felt once more this rejection that I felt against evangelic people, so I tried to continue my way with indifference, not before realizing that those that were in that temple were saying :"Christ lives!".I could not see Him I looked to all the corners, but I could not see Him in any place, I could not feel Him either in my life, I tried to continue my way with indifference, but something special happened, a big miracle, it seemed that my feet couldn't move forward, the only alternative was get inside that temple, I was a little confused in that place, I sat down in the last bench, the burden that I had on my shoulders was to heavy, the burden of the sin is very heavy, I was afflicted and distressed and I was hard up and also very desperate. The pastor of the congregation was in the altar, when he saw me he came down from the altar en came to me and told me "Jesus loves you!", after that he came to me the second time and told me "Jesus loves you!".Those simple words made me to react in a very violent way and I told him: "lies!, Christ can not love me in the condition that my life is now, I have looked for Him for a long time, Jesus can not love the sin!. The man answered me:"yes, it is true, Christ do not love the sin, but the SINNER".
I could not accept what this man was saying, I insulted him and ran out of the temple. There was a woman in that temple, and she ran after me and stop me to tell me the same: "it is true that Jesus loves you!, He has a plan for you, and He wants to save you!, He has choosen you!". I told her that that was just a tail, the tail of the envangelic christians. Then the woman told me: "Jesus loves you, and I love you too!".It began a very interesting dialog, and I told her:"how can you love me you do not know me!". The woman told me that she was able to love me because there was someone that had loved her first, a supreme being has transformed her, so high was His love that He shed His own blood, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
That woman invited me to her home, and midwhile I rested, she praied and intereceded for me and said to God: "Save her Jesus, because she will get lost", the woman began to repeat the same sentence since 10 o'clock in the night, and she spent the whole night praying, it was at 6 o'clock in the morning that I woke up and turned to the corner and there she was on her knees saying the same things: "Save her oh Jesus, because she will get lost!", I stood up, and then she stood up from the corner she was and came to me and told me:"There is a promiss from the Lord for you in this morning, Jesus Christ tells you: I have come so you can have life and even more abundant life". I understood that all this time that I had lost I have been just content with so little, that was what the roman traditioin could give me, I understood also that my convertion was not to the christians but to a living and real Christ, that offered me life and even more abundant life. I got down on my knees midwhile this woman praied, and I opened my heart and told to Jesus: "Come inside my life, I need life and even more abundant life, forgive my sins". That was the key that that missionary had told me once. He has told me that it had already been repentance through the faith in Jesus Christ.I made that election from my heart, I chose the gift of God, eternal life, and I felt how in my life were shed rivers of living water, the fear, the doubt, the rejection and the desperation had ceased, when I gave me heart to Jesus.
It did not take to long time, before the mother superior of the Servants of the Mother of God, noted through the new friends that I got that I had been converted, she considered that I had become an allied of the evangelics, and that I would defame, the Holy Mother Church declaring my self heretic, and very soon she began to give warnings in the radio and even in the University where I had studied, she also printed brochures, trying to warn other monastic orders that they should be very carefull with me, and it was like this that another persecution took place.They began to look for me, and it was not very difficult to find me because I was living in the capital, one day when I was in my job, arrived a nun asking for me, she was crying and wanted me to help her, I believed in her tears and came out of the building where I was working ,together with her, and when we were out it was already a taxi waitting for me, and the taxi drove to the the room for charged priests. When we arrived there I realized that everything has been a deception, and I was in their hands once more, the general mother superior was there, and she took me to the city of Cali, where I was put inside a dark cell, and the general mother superior tried to persuaded me, many times that I was in a mistake, and that the only way that I had to be save it was believing in the liturgies and the religious things that took place in our church, when she saw that she could not convince me, she threatened me, threat that became true, she invited another congregation with nuns announced a general meeting. And there I was in the middle of a group of nuns, one of the tortures of the holy inquisition was going to take place, I was tied to a chair, and they covered my eyes, the mother Catalina came to me asking me: "Why did you dare to say that Mary is not a mediator?". I answered her:"I haven't say that, the Bible says so: the only mediator, between men and God is Jesus Christ the men". She wanted to know in which place the Bible said that Mary was not a mediator. There is a moment in the Bible in which a woman want to put high the name of Mary, and is when this woman said to her: "Blessed is the womb that bare thee, and the paps which thou hast sucked", but Jesus andwered this woman: Yea rather, blessed are they that hear the word of God, and keep it." Luke 11:27-28. There is another moment in the Scriptures when Mary asked a request from Jesus, this is one of the arguments that the Holy Mother Catholic Church uses to see Mary as a mediator, we can read it in John 2: 4-8. The Mother of Jesus tells him: They don't have more wine, and Jesus answered her: Woman, what have I to do with thee?
We need to see that as God and prophet Jesus knew about the error that would come up in the future of the church, understanding that they would have Mary as an intersessor. And He made everything possible to thwart that situation in advance calling her WOMAN, and leave it very clear that she had no special influence on Him. Also the four gospels are full of examples that when the time came for Jesus to make a miracle, He did it without help or intervention of Mary of any kind. The general mother superior made another question about the divinity of Mary.There is no scriptural basis that give any kind of divinity to Mary. The insistence of deity of Mary got its impulse, in the Council of Nicea in 1854, when the church in Rome proclaims the doctrine of the immaculate conception, this means that Mary was borned without the original sin.
With that they arrive to that conclusion , if she was engendered without the original sin, just like Jesus, then she would be a divine being. The church of Roime left it very clear that that was their intention when in the year of 1950 it was announced the doctrine of the ascension this means: that Mary was taken alive to the heavens. The doctrine of the inmaculated coception is totaly against to what Mary herself said when she expressed in her praise song. In Luke 1:47 says:"And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour". To be the mother of Jesus she had to have an irreproachable purity, but even so, she confessed her need of a saviour, this means, if she had the original sin, no matter how holy and saint she could be, she needed a saviour. Can it be found a human being that does not need a saviour too?.
Even if she didn't like the answers that I was giving her, she wanted to prove that in that chair was sitting an heretic, and that she had right to do a punishment for a lesson to others nuns, so they would not dare to do or said what I was doing.
Her third question was:" why do you want to destroy with all your heresies the everlasting virginity of Mary?". I took her to the Scriptures to answered her that question. Lets read in Mathew 13:53-56 "And it came to pass, that when Jesus had finished these parables, he departed thence. And when he was come into his own country, he taught them in their synagogue, insomuch that they were astonished, and said, Whence hath this man this wisdom, and these mighty works? Is not this the carpenter's son? is not his mother called Mary? and his brethren, James, and Joses, and Simon, and Judas? And his sisters, are they not all with us? Whence then hath this man all these things?". It is clear that Mary was the wife of a carpenter, and that Jesus had another brothers and sisters.The experssion: Is not his mother among us, are not the names of His brothers Joseph, Jakob,...is this perphaps that the word "brothers" can be understood in another sense or have another meaning than brothers that are borned from the same mother?. Also in the gospel of Mathew 12:46-50 .We can see once more here that He had a mother and brothers, the Scripture says that His mother and brothers were outside and wanted to talk with Him, and one of the person that were there told to Jesus, "While he yet talked to the people, behold, his mother and his brethren stood without, desiring to speak with him. Then one said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee. But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren? And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother." With this Jesus expressed and left clear that the phisycal relationship don't offer any special benefit with Him, and that the only relatioinship that has any value is the spiritual relationships, because He said that His brother and sister and mother are the ones that do the will of God that is in Heaven. Once all the questions were made, the general mother superior gave the order that if I did not quit to the new doctrine that I had received the punishment would begin. I could not quit to this because when you accept Jesus as the personal saviour of your life, you are not accepting just any thing , now you are choosen lineage, He has choosen you, He paid the price for you!. So I answered her: "I will not quit, I have accepted the Son of God as my saviour here on this earth" . I was sitting in that chair with my hands tied and my eyes covered before the audience of a numerous congregation, where they had met a group of nuns of different congregations to witness that event, in defense of the traditional religion, she told me: "Lets see if you are so brave as you pretend to be, you will have to quit".
I felt a deep pain, and it was when they began to uproot the hairs of my head, they were using pliers, I felt how in each hard pull uprooted my hair together with the skin and how the blood flowed. There were some interrputions to gave me the chance of change my mind, it was in those moments when I cried out with all my forces that promiss of Jesus "But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you..". I receive the strenght and the power from God, and no matter how many chances they gave me to quit, I did not do it, because I knew that I had accepted a Christ of power and that He would give me power to support that pain.
Without denying that He is the Lord of Lords and all almighty, the pain become so strong that I fainted . When I woke up I was shut inside a cell, all my body was full of blood, my head was drowsy, and I saw one of my mates came inside with a mirror and telling me ironically: "Look at your head, now you look like a monster", she moked me and told me: "Just dare to go out again to continue to defame our religion". That indicated me the big evil that could be fed in a place through the roman tradition. And everything what meant this pagan pomp, all this evil had been fed from Rome, how big was the contrast between the redeeming work that Christ had made in my life, and what the catholic tradition had taught me throught the baptism of children, the confessions before a priest, the prays to the virgin, the celebration of the mass. All this were just lies, how the so called sucessors of Peter who just pretend to have the authority of God to call themselves vicars. This could be verifed clearly in the behaviour of that nun in the moment that she forced me to look into that mirror and made joke about me. The only alternative to open the heavens for us , is the same confession that Peter did 19 centureis back , when he confessed that Jesus Christ is the Son of the living God, this was the key for the repentance and the faith in a Saviour . According to the orders of the roman tradition I could've spend the rest of my life inside that dark cell. But I did not quit to the Christ that I had accepted, I had asked Him power, and I was sure that He was going to take me out of that place. I was going to stay there until the moment that He would glorify Himself.
It happened 15 days after, I didn't know how, but there was a lawyer a friend of my family, he was interested in knowing what had happened to me and my life,he talked with my parents, but they just did not know nothing about me or where I was, he asked in the university, in my old job, but noone could tell him about me, as a lawyer in that time, he decided to prepare and file a report for kidnapping, which I don't consider it as a simple coincidence, but that this was the way that God used to take me out of that place.
He went to many convents, showing the demand and the papers for kidnapping, specially in the convent of the Servants of the Mother of God, where with deceptions they took him from one place to another. But he realized that it was just a game and firmly and as a lawyer he demanded from this congregation of the servants of the Mother of God that they had to know where I was, midwhile, I was inside that dark cell, where it was just rubble and dirtiness, one day that this lawyer came to this place he insisted and stated that I was inside that convent, and even if they denied it, he showed them a demand on paper that he had with him, and another paper that was a permission to break into the place. Then one that was guarding the door got scared and then she went to my cell and told me:" I will open the door and you will go out running, we don't want to have problems with the authorities". She opened the door and that was the way how I went out of that place. This was one more miracle. I could see that the Christ that I had accepted is REAL and is ALIVE, He was with me.
I began to congregate in a evangelic christian church, I had no one single hair in my head and I had an infection, but one day the Lord glorified Himself and created new hair, He was the only one that could do that. Once that the hair is pulled out from the root or burned, it never grows again, but Jesus did it!, He created new hair in my head!. I dedicated my self to study the Word, I went to the Institute, after I dedicated my self to the evangelism. Some years later I got married with a man from Puerto Rico. Today my home is dedicated to the Lord. My husband and I have dedicated us to the evangelism and have had many wonderfull experiences with the Lord in the missioinary field.
I am positive and sure that God allowed all this in my life for one purpouse, this experience that I lived in my flesh and my spirit willl take many souls to the feet of Jesus, if that happen with you, then this purpouse will be fullfilled.